This is how they love you back

I could stand here nakedly offering

him the key to my forever

He’d hesitate

 

This is how they love you back

say I am in love with love but

not the idea of your love just hers

or I could’ve sworn I heard a knocking on my heart

I just forgot to open the door

 

This is how they love you back

let me hold your hand here

before anyone sees

let me be me

because being an ass

is all I want to be

I don’t want the responsibility of your happiness

whatever you have to give though

I’ll take, gladly

 

This is how they love you back

I could suffocate on the waiting

 

This is how they love you back

This is how it feels

This is how it sounds

This is how it is

We burrow tears

bracing the levees

against the flood gates so that they won’t break

and we struggle

deep in the trench of giving

we sweat

to find footing in the mud

 

This is how they love you back

all smiles and wide gaped laughter

 

This is how they love you back

without trusting or knowing

 

This is how they love you

This is how they love you

This is how it feels

This is how it sounds

and we hurt

holding onto nothing

but struggle

 

This is how we leave you just a little bit freer

This how we love us back

This is for the last time I found myself wanting

This is for the comparisons

and mood swings

the general dismissal of my things

the leavings

the I need to work on my own feelings

the fifteen missed messages

and unheard phone rings

 

This is how we love us back

apply pressure to the muscle

gently squeeze

don’t forget to breathe

this is how it feels

this is how it sounds

this is how it is