Nina was the hardest of them
all,
the worst woman I had known
up to that moment
and I was sitting in front of
my secondhand black and white
tv
watching the news
when I heard a suspicious
sound in the kitchen
and I ran in there
and saw her with
a full bottle of whiskey –
a 5th –
and she had it and
was headed for the back porch
door
but I caughter her and
grabbed the bottle.
“give me that bottle, you
fucking whore!”
and we wrestled for the
bottle
and let me tell you
she gave me a good fight
for it
but
I got it away from her
and I told her to
get her ass out of
there.
she lived in the same place
in the back
upstairs.

I locked the door
took the bottle and a
glass
went out to the couch
sat down and
opened the bottle and
poured myself a good
one.

I shut off the TV and
sat there
thinking about what a
hard number
Nina was.
I came up with
at least
a dozen lousy things
she had done
to me.

what a whore.
what a hunk of rock.

I sat there drinking
the whiskey
and wondering
what I was doing
with Nina.

then there was a
knock on the
door.
it was Nina’s friend,
Helga.

“where’s Nina?”
she asked.

“she tried to steal
my whiskey, I
ran her ass
out of here.”

“she said to meet
her here.”

“what for?”

“she said me and her
were going to do it
in front of you
for $50.”

“$25”

“well, she’s not
here… want a
drink?”

“sure…”

I got Helga a glass
poured her a
whiskey.
she took a
hit.

“maybe,” she said,
“I ought to go get
Nina.”

“I don’t want to see
her.”

“why not?”

“she’s a whore.”

Helga finished her
drink and I poured
her another.
she took a
hit.

“Benny calls me a
whore, I’m no
whore.”

Benny was the guy
she was shacked
with.

“I know you’re no
whore, Helga.”

“thanks. Ain’t ya got no
music?”

“just the radio…”

she saw it
got up
turned it
on.
some music came
blaring out.

Helga began to
dance
holding
her whiskey
glass in one
hand.
she wasn’t a good
dancer
she looked
rediculous.

she stopped
drained her drink
roller her glass along the
rug
then ran toward
me
dropped to her knees
unzipped me
and then
she was down
there
doing tricks.

I drained my
drink
poured another.

she was
good.
she had a college
degree
some place back
East.

“get it, Helga, get
it!”

there was a loud
knock
on the front
door.

“HANK, IS HELGA
THERE?”

“WHO?”

“HELGA!”

“JUST A MINUTE!”

“THIS IS NINA, I WAS
SUPPOSED TO MEET
HELGA HERE, WE HAVE A
LITTLE SURPRISE FOR
YOU!”

“YOU TRIED TO STEA
MY WHISKEY, YOU
WHORE!”

“HANK, LET ME
IN!”

“get it, Helga, get
it!”

“HANK!”

“Helga, you fucking whore…
Helga, Helga, Helga!!”

I pulled away and
got up.

“let her in.”

I went to the
bathroom.

when I came out they
were both sitting there
drinking and smoking
laughing about
something.
then they
saw me.

“50 bucks,” said Nina.

“25 bucks,” I said.

“we won’t do it
then.”

“don’t then.”

Nina inhaled
exhaled.
“all right, you
cheap bastard, 25
bucks!”

Nina stood up and
began taking her
clothes off.

she was the hardest
of them
all.

Helga stood up and
began taking her
clothes off.

I poured a
drink.
“sometimes I wonder
what the hell is
going on
around here,” I
said.

“don’t worry about
it, Daddy, just
get with it.”

“just what am i
supposed to
do?”

“just do
whatever the fuck
you feel
like doing,”
said Nina
her big ass
blazing
in the
lamplight.

–Charles Bukowski