I opened my eyes and not to my surprise
My alarm clock didn’t ring
Stapled to the bed my body slept
When thoughts into my head crept
I just wanted to crawl back into the
Somberness of sleep
Feel my fantasies come alive
Without the actuality of living them
10 minutes too early I hear imaginary ticks
1 minute in the questions roll in
Thick as the goose down blanket
I used to block it out but the
Feather thin questions keep slippin in
What are you doing?
You are half awake in a world that is comatose
Why do you insist on an overdose of their sedatives?
Why don’t you live and take your dreams with you?
I survive the first attack and make a quick move
But my whole body is a 10 bowling ball sack
Forcing me to list to more what if’s and maybe’s
What if that little girl running down the road
Understood that when she woke up her life was to erode
Into the military violence forced on her by the Sudanese government?
Maybe in her sleep she’d a heard her mother’s muffled screams?
Heard the Janjaweed Janjaweed shout?
Saw another way out before the devil horse ran her down?
Its about 3 minutes now
How could he sitting on his pillow soft cotton bed
Wake with the singular thought to put a gun to his head
Call his girl on the phone tell her he missed her
Then pull the trigger?
Did the red bandana dye seep into his mind?
Tell him bloodshed is the only way to serve his country
What are we fighting for?
Will a black president
Set the precedent for success
Or will the excess lies
That were ostracized
During Bush’s reign
Rain on his parade?
Minute 5 arrives
Why did God wake me before the alarm clock that lies by my side?
Does the Lord know that I tried to hide during the night?
Will I always feel as warm as these orange stripped covers?
What if my best is not the best?
What if I rise so fast that I fall like bricks?
Minute 6 only minute 6
Why are these ticks not clicking quick enough?
Why don’t you just stand up? Or should I kneel & pray?
Should I live for Him? Or should I live for those who won’t live for Him?
7 minutes pass in this hellish heaven
Someone had to have woken up in love this morning
Can’t the suffering wait?
It’s a clean slate
Just wavering sleep
Feeling the density of the room’s hands
Pressing on my back
Moving up the sheets
to where the intrusive
alarm clock rings