Poems

My Poetry, Poems, Short Poems

Again

Aside | Posted on by A. Long

mangle my name in your mouth

choke on each syllable

tangled

as the curls in my hair

thick

as the fated course we’re on

destiny is a four lettered word

that you can’t pronounce

Go home

repatriate yourself

swim in the bowels of the womb

that birthed you

and

make yourself new

learn a love, cut it up, bake it

into your grin

like cinnamon

blend

then

tell me

my name again

–A. Long

Crossing New Mexico with Weldon Kees

Posted on by A. Long

1. Santa Fe
“The walls are old,” he says.
I turn in the plaza and nod to Weldon Kees,
his face as dark as the cool shadows
that surround us, walls keeping him
safe, honoring his silence, though
he comes to me to be led away.

 

“The mountains out there are not old,”
he claims and slips his hands into his coat.
We cross the street, each Indian blanket
on the ground holding jewelry I would love
to touch, but Kees and the Navajo man
selling his crafts are whispering to the ground.

 

Kees surprises me by entering the Museum of Arts.
I follow him, the stone floor ringing with
our footsteps, empty arches blending above.
Kees stops and turns to me.
“One can see only so much,” he says.

 

He leads me to the twisted dwarf,
the tangles form of faith and death,
arrows bristling from its muscled body,
a sacrifice of the ugly encased in glass,
Kees staring at the sculpture as if
he knows why we really can’t see it.
He points to the deepest arrow
and places a hand on my shoulder.
“When you believe this, you are home,”
he tells me and walks out.

 

2. Albuquerque
The Sangre de Cristo mountains are old
and he is driving my car to the highest ridge,
the valley below avoiding the bright moon,
the same white light in the bay Kees wanted
to touch before he left.

 

“Mist and clouds are a lie,” he claims.
“Look down there. Men are running away.”
He drives slowly to the top and we get out,
the autumn sun burning terraces into scrub
cedars and piñon pines he wrote about
when he crossed here long ago,
standing on the edge of the cliff
as if this is the only way for him to go.

 

“Look past what you want to see,”
he sighs as the wind takes his slick hair
and makes him into someone
I have seen before, the streets of
Albuquerque down there as dusty
as his closed eyes.

 

We stand on the edge and I wait
at this elevation with Kees who wrote
that the towns we will not visit are
places where home truly lies.
“I must go,” he decides.
“Where to?” I ask.
“Anyplace you haven’t seen,” he says,
and walks down the mountain.

 

3. Tyuonyi
Kees and I are happy when the sun
splits the tree for a moment because
yesterday controlled this mountain dawn,
burning mud deeper into the adobe.
Cottonwoods catch fire here, give
the people time to hide inside turtle shells,
though they come out to watch us.

 

I stop as the drawings come to life
under the arches, symbols familiar
to those who sleep by crossing
the street each night.
As I stare, I realize a man who
diappears wants to understand
and not hide, yet the designs
tempt me to walk in the wrong
direction and leave him behind.
To go farther up would mean
a canyon where I have been.

 

A dirt street inside another path,
tiny houses falling back,
letting me pass beyond their
locked doors, as if the smoking
windows know where I must go.
When I enter the placita, the old
woman is not there because this
is about bringing Kees back.
The dirt street opens to the last
scorched tree breaking out of walls
to shade what can’t be blessed, its
branches confusing until their cracks
enter the ground in search of peace.

 

4. Santa Maria
Water disappears to settle as clear glass
that contains memories of thirst,

 

the ancient hole found in the ruins,
Kees’ hand keeping the others from skimming

 

the surface of the still water, reaching
to be alone under the mountain wall,

 

though eyes that watch have seen this before,
men entering and never coming out.

 

One hand keeps the other from touching the surface.
Pulling back allows the echo of falling rocks,

 

the deep swimmer breaking through walls
to emerge on the other side of the well

 

where the first figures to emerge in centuries are
sitting and rubbing sand over their wet, shivering bodies.

 

5. Fort Selden
Kees is getting tired in the desert heat
and sits on a historic slab of western settlement,

 

this old fort a museum where thirsty men
come to drink from the bitter well.

 

Kees smokes too many cigarettes
and shakes his head at me,

 

“Look at the moth and the deep iris in your garden
because the equation I found in San Francisco

 

is an eclipse drawn on paper
by my trembling hands.”

 

He pauses and takes a drag, my head bathed
in sweat and confusion as he coughs this,

 

“It is too late because jazz has gone away.
I placed a stone deity of a bird next to an eggplant

 

on my desk, its smooth purple skin as significant
as the gathering of birds in your head,

 

their chirping coming from sorrow,
even from the bay where I never told a lie,

 

though the grand steps lead to the burned church
where the musicians used to trace my forehead.”

 

I stare at him and he tosses smoke on the ground
because we are close to home.

 

6. El Paso
Kees waits at the bus station
in my hometown.
We cannot go farther because
the border here is out there and as violent
as the reasons he disappeared
in San Francisco a long time ago.
I want to tell him who I think he is,
but I grew up here and must hide
how things have really been,
drawing the light off the mountains
as if the doubters of history are simply
starving boys offering to shine Kees’
shoes on the corner of Paisano Street.

 

My hometown has a bridge,
but Kees won’t go near it because
he says to cross it would be
to admit there is something wrong
on the other side of my family’s house.
He can never cross because
we have found our way here,
El Paso dreaming its population
of mute men must keep growing
because the border keeps taking
too many of them away.

 

Kees looks at the bus schedule,
runs out of cigarettes
and everything is closed.
He nods at nothing and waits
on the bench with someone
he swears looks like me.
–Ray Gonzalez

Why Worry Of Tomorrow:Part 2

Posted on by A. Long

I hear her running at break neck speed

over mountains and cliffs

praying the wind will catch her wings

spread eagle

as flying Africans

no constraints up here

no heavy palmed emotions to hold me

no responsibility to weigh me

no time to track me

no more voices in my inner ear

The wind’s so thick

that I can only hear the music

my breathe humming

syncing with my heartbeat

up here

all concepts and constructs are a myth

among cumulus clouds

I wait with patience

Why Worry of Tomorrow: Part 1

Posted on by A. Long

why worry of tomorrow 

with wrinkles from the past

head pounding

heart racing

sweating happiness and pain

fear and joy

hollow rage

clump within, pits of writhing emotion

I stabbed my shoulder to flick the chip out

the remnants dissipate into the blood stream

what is normal

what is today

the present’s absence boils the curd to the surface

I wear the feelings on my skin to keep the secret

I scrub them off every morning 

watch them clog the drain

time whips 

demands attention in all directions

like erections in sleep 

work fades, a monotonous track on repeat

deep introspection

leaves me wallowing inside

replaying lucid memories and poetry

while the world moves around me

I’m never awake

I never left the theater 

the lights are all dimmed

there’s popcorn at my feet next to the sticky candy treats

I’ve been watching this movie for two decades

hoping the heroine will change

rearrange the free floating feelings flowing through

her veins, heroin

misplaced purpose

I scream, don’t just lay there at the screen

unball your fist

dismantle that smile 

save yourself from the sins of your fathers

 

 

 

 

Among Women

Posted on by A. Long

What women wander?
Not many. All. A few.
Most would, now & then,
& no wonder.
Some, and I’m one,
Wander sitting still.
My small grandmother
Bought from every peddler
Less for the ribbons and lace
Than for their scent
Of sleep where you will,
Walk out when you want, choose
Your bread and your company.

 

She warned me, “Have nothing to lose.”

 

She looked fragile but had
High blood, runner’s ankles,
Could endure, endure.
She loved her rooted garden, her
Grand children, her once
Wild once young man.
Women wander
As best they can.
–Marie Ponsot

South

Posted on by A. Long

the stench wafts up

something indistinguishable

against your will

you taste the air

trying to identify the smell

what is that

putrid garbage onions

slowly you sniff sniff snuff

until a big whiff chokes you up

like the burning of bleach

gasping for a sterile breath

To Ophelia

Posted on by A. Long

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
  Doubt that the sun doth move,
  Doubt truth to be a liar,
  But never doubt I love.
 O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers. I have not art to reckon my groans, but that I love thee best, oh, most best, believe it. Adieu.
  Thine evermore, most dear lady,
  whilst this machine is to him,
    Hamlet.
–William Shakespeare

Football

Posted on by A. Long

I take the snap from the center,

fake to the right, fade back…
I’ve got protection.

I’ve got a receiver open downfield…
What the hell is this?

This isn’t a football, it’s a shoe, a man’s brown leather oxford.

A cousin to a football maybe,

the same skin,

but not the same,

a thing made for the earth,

not the air.
I realize that this is a world where anything is possible

and I understand,

also,

that one often has to make do with what one has.

I have eaten pancakes, for instance, with that clear corn syrup on them because there was no maple syrup and they weren’t very good.

Well,

anyway,

this is different. (My man
downfield is waving his arms.)

One has certain responsibilities,
one has to make choices.

This isn’t right and I’m not going
to throw it.

–by Louis Jenkins

Street Balconies Can Cry

Posted on by A. Long

a small breeze blows through his cerulean sweater

as he stares off into the distance

the dancing lights below

the fire escape

lean under his weight

i see him

at first he is steady, Herculean

imagining the jump

All at once he crumples into himself

like folded paper

back against the wall

he screams

burying his face as tears race

drowned out by the bustle

the pedestrians shuffle

through intersections, restless

they glide about oblivious

as just above them a man’s love dies

The bricks nick his sweater and I want to comfort him

to brush down the stray hairs with wet fingertips

it will get better

His lover peeks

out of the shadow

sneaks onto the ledge

to whisper a liar’s prayer

and hope that he isn’t there         crying

i need him

they meet

words pass silently and all at once

the sad eyed blue of the brown man

stands

yelling,

from what i could tell from here,

all his heart feels

the carnal cardinal red

of the lovers

dread

hangs into his face

shading his shame

i should help end this

here

waiting

underneath the fire escape

 

 

River’s Run

Posted on by A. Long

Fell asleep under the river’s run

listening to the thunder and rain

Take them to the river

pack their shit for an escape

we’ll be one

and run with the waves

Learn to swim

or would

you rather die here as slaves

I fell asleep and it carried me to a secret place

where honey flowed

like over watered graves

the mint you could pick was too sweet

the trees spat up milk

implanted by the bees

It was backward and beautiful

pretty faced people told no lies

and everything lovers whispered

was theirs to hide

This is where

at the river’s divide

the thunder

died