Hello God, It’s Me

Hello God, it’s me

its going on day three and

still my baby won’t sleep

I cradle him close to my chest

steadily tap

rhythm on his back

like that of a rocking ship

the downbeat of the bass

we syncopate with the slow motion of gravity’s pull

back and forth

until

his angry flailing lulls

still restless I feed him my dreams

since circumstance has taken my breasts

I hold him closer to my now flattened chest

and smoothly sing this prayer

let my voice be the milk

that fills his little belly

let it be like honey

so that he may never go hungry

loud enough to mask

the dissonance of gunshots

down by the deli

please help him sleep quietly

and I will sing

nina simone, etta james, and ella

into the unholy hours of the morning

before the daily grind of the laborer begins

I will sing

until the day he walks upright

kingly

no longer needs me

to get through the night

I will sing calmly to let the devils know

that God blesses the child

of the mother

who works hard to give him his own

nineteen pounds, dark brown

after snaking his small fist into the fold under my arm

and pinching my fat lightly

on night three

of wrestling

finally

Finally, we sleep

Mother How Could I?

Mother how could I not care for you?1b69894131c6a9d6ea2ad7f6674030bc

when my pamper was soiled
my nose had a sniffle
or there was a rasp in my voice you took care of me.

Mother how could I be rude to you?
when in my most vulnerable state
9 months you allowed me to grow through you.

Mother how could I not fight for you?
when push came to shove
you showed me love
and went to bat for me.
Mother I would lay down my life for you.

Mother how could I not make room for you?
if you wanted to live in the sky
I’d take the sun
remove the stars and the moon for you.

Mother how could I not show you compassion?
when it came to your love
it was not only shown through words
but in action.

Mother how could I ever be a fool?
when twice a day you drove
from south philly to germantown
just to get me to school
along with my lil brother too.

Mother how could my love for you be conditional?
when you made sure I had all I needed and more
cook, cleaned and ironed
til yah hands, back and neck were sore.
and still I beckoned for more?

Mother how could I not apologize for my trasgressions?
when as a child, you never spared me the rod
and taught me all my lessons.

Mother it was YOU who taught me to be a man
and though i have grown
in dark times I still search for your hand
for your guidance.

So Mother how could I not be loyal?
when your love for me
is like water to heat
thus it boils.

Mother how could I not hold you in memory?
when seeing you smile brings me the greatest joy
YOU are everything good in me.

Mother these words amount to nothing
compared to the gifts you have given me.
You will ALWAYS be the QUEEN of my HEART.
Lose love for you?

Mother How Could I?

–by (k)onscience