where the wind tears through the thickest coats as we huddle in awkward clumps, side by side, for warmth. praying the show will start so we can go. peer into the horizon, gobbled up by the explosion of lights. sanctioned dynamite, the cold, and pretty dyes are all that separate us from a war zone in Aleppo.
where we gaze at the skies, waiting.
for them to come back. to reach down out of the full looming moon and grab your hand. and skoo dee whoop, scat, skip, and shimmy across constellations. to throw in a twirl or two so that your yellow dress whirls in the approaching star’s gleam.
where mouths stiffen instead of commence kissing
is there such thing as a new beginning? it is started by definition, therefore it was new. once lived, if uncaptured, its never reclaimed. remade. re-hymenated.
wherein that sliver of sour before one cries at another’s pain. before the shouting is deafening. before the thunder of fireworks bashing an eardrum. before we fade into the blankets of night, trying to regain life and limb in the warmth.
The insomnia kicking me in my side, unable to resolve the issues about which I write. Seems like they grow fast, like the hairs prodding my skin. The future looms. I don’t know where I’m going only where I’ve been. It’s sickening, these three lettered words are inseparable. Tossed through the air without affection. Devotion to the voices within that won’t speak.
This isn’t making any sense. My body paces yet I lack the spirit to leave. The problem lies with me? Alone in the struggle. Questions running rampant as the clock ticks. Still here I sit.
In love and suddenly impatient with these three lettered words. Honey dipped lightening laced with the essence of fresh roses petals. Unparalleled. And it all came down to a three lettered word whispered in the dark for fear they’d actually be true, that maybe light would reveal my heart doesn’t feel quite right. It never did.
I miss him, its just hard to say sometimes. But words hold no weight in a world constantly moving, they can be broken as easily as eggshells on pavement. I guess I had hoped if I stood still long enough and felt my emotion sink past my heart to the bottom of my feet. I could shove it down and keep it there.