Midnight, Talking About Our Exes

The sun is still down and maybe even downer.
Two owls, one white and one large-eared,
dive into a nothingness that is a field, night-beast
in the swoop-down, (the way we all have to
make a living). Let’s be owls tonight, stay up
in the branches of ourselves, wide-eyed,
perched on the edge of euphoric plummet.
All your excellencies are making me mouse,
but I will shush and remain the quiet flyer,
the one warm beast still coming to you in the dark
despite all those old, cold, claustrophobic stars.

–Ada Limón

Melted

My baby don’t love me no more

maybe he never did

i melted

into the floorboards waiting

for him to come home

comb through the knots

in our relationship

married to my hair

i cut it

out, cancerous strands grew

there from where he’d grab

dig his fingers deep into the roots

then pull

snatch

take

all they do is take

your breasts your likeness your body is gone in an instant

without so much as a hand hold

cuckholded lacily held yesterdays

where’s yesterday

he wont even look at me anymore

crawling past the door

towards another chest

but i need to love to want him

don’t know if it made a difference

now its just

wanting leaving the wanted with longing

Pray for me I’ve seen too much

of these buh bye boys to men

to children.

 

 

 

You Left Me In A Lumberyard Last Night

rustle rustle goes the night

rustle rustle goes my knees trying to get right

goes my arms trying to steal warmth

goes the snipping critters looking for a bite

 

you left me in a lumberyard last night

 

cuddled up to wet kindle

heart splintered like a useless piece of wood

shrapnel in my hands and cheek

industrial steel covers for sheets

night creeps

discarded trash speaks

 

i think, voice box cracked

weak

from calling your name

that I am lost in a manufactured dead forest

waiting for you to reclaim

me

if I am solid the creatures that  be

won’t find the hiding place

I miss your quiet face,

still like wood

scavenging through the dust & debris

I will make fire

let the wood face cook the cold away

it was cold when you left me

chuck in chunks of my lumber prison

I guess I’ll call this yard home now

this & that petrified stack

will be the bedroom where the moon used to make room for you

 

I thought I mattered more than a tattered doll

forgotten and ignored

left under humble rubble

 

rumble rumble goes the night

rumble rumble goes fear’s appetite

goes rowdy, rough boys looking for a fight

 

i shiver into a corner trying not to be seen

im scared and alone

in this processed jungle

needing a way out of the fallen log’s bowel

I’ll build a tower of babel

with reconstructed self esteem

as an escape

Limber up hacked limbs of timber

the timbre clanging as I climb to the heavens

to find you

 

ring ring goes the night

ring ring goes the alarms of my flight

goes my resolve

goes my hemorrhaging heart from love’s sight

NY Streets

Hosts of lonely souls coast through the streets

feel like desperation when I breathe deep

just trying to keep up with fast feet

if I stop my mind will catch thoughts that creep around my sleep

I am the gaping hole after the tower’s destruction

nothing but blood and hollow exoskeleton

hot to the touch so I must still be alive

But how could anything have survived

buch a vicious blow was so unexpected

It took my hope, structure, foundation when it crash landed

the phoenix reborn among these swaying rooftops

shake off ash and debris

where my heart beat stops is the location of the excavation

Dig me a new soul that’s not half-empty

with repatriation, false devotion, love and harmony

rebuild me in your eyes as how I’m meant to be

In memory of those who continue to die all around me

in these streets, malleable like hot leaded fingers

that grab at son’s sneakers

pushing him to the edge

the city barely gets by on integrity

push him inside, it’s dark down here

Broken back and crumpled spirit

I am the hole in the chest of concrete that can’t be fixed

Sublime in its suckiness

Does that make me beautiful as I coast through the city’s mist

brushing off unhappiness as the sun peeks from behind stratus clouds

ashy smoke bags hazy in their existence

as they hang in the sky over us

the sounds of sirens unheeded

so we burn our city to the bone with our music

The absence of those well-acquainted with the night

leave holes in already unfulfilled souls

Are You There

rejectionDeep inside are you there

looking back at me

What are you thinking

Who the hell are you

Where’d you go

Do you know you

Yes or no

Do you want to know me

Does that make me special or convenient

What do you want with yourself

Who are you fighting

Are you lying

Why would you lie

Do you not know what special means

Deep inside I have no reason to hide

so why cry

Are you here with me

or are you there

fuck a love poem. by megan alodie

Image

fuck u. 
fuck love. 
fuck those sappy ass dramas on tv.

fuck u. 
fuck love.
fuck everything in between. 

fuck u.
fuck love. 
fuck what u do to me. 

fuck u.
fuck love.
fuck anniversaries.

fuck u.
fuck love.
fuck fuck-buddies.

fuck u. 
fuck love.
fuck it. 
it was all a dream
i used to read word-up magazine…

*snaps*