Are You There

rejectionDeep inside are you there

looking back at me

What are you thinking

Who the hell are you

Where’d you go

Do you know you

Yes or no

Do you want to know me

Does that make me special or convenient

What do you want with yourself

Who are you fighting

Are you lying

Why would you lie

Do you not know what special means

Deep inside I have no reason to hide

so why cry

Are you here with me

or are you there

To Be Found

We stumble in darkness

warm bodies fumble at frilly things

like love’s cold hands

Feeling for a place to pour into

Trust is reckless

and we’re all strangers here

close enough to touch

desperate enough to connect rushed

relationships to broken parts

We’re bats blind at birth

hugging the walls to get a reading on self-worth

The id & ego are jokers

bouncing around with sneering red pokers

Who were you rigidly tapping

betting on to be your eyes

in this life long search

We’re more afraid with every breath

waiting for that little death

screaming a language unspoken

just hoping

to be found

 

 

Nigeria’s 223

She jumped

hurling her body onto the tumbling street

cartwheeling into a cacophony of broken limbs

She sprinted

driving the crests of her knees into her little chest

praying to not fall prey to self righteous Allah sadists

gathering freedom into her lungs

as she fled her captors

The captives

276 little girls kidnapped

TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY THREE CHILDREN STILL MISSING

Taken under the baking sun

from their classrooms for learning western ideals

for learning

Yanked out of beds weighed down with soft dreams

shoved onto the back of trucks in streams

like chattel cattle

Sell them.

Sell them?

hundreds of small human beings

all brown skin, frightened eyes, and quivered lips

Nigerian. Muslim. and Beautiful.

Like my sister and brother

like lavender blood moons

like a call to prayer at sundown

like wind kissed desert sand dunes

I hear you

 

 

White Bracelets

we all have old scars

and sometimes in winter

I can  still see what was

white bracelets

(let’s call them white bracelets

just as my grandmother used to say

when we fell down steep stairways,

stop crying or you’ll miss hearing

the stairs–they’re still dancing)

what was once white bracelets

what before that showed pink

what before that was raw & festering

what before that was agony

down to the bones

what before that was

almost blacked out

& being dragged by the tractor

in the barbed wire

what before that was

surprise & yelling:

can’t you STOP STOP

what before that was

lying in the grass

reading a blue letter

looking up into sun & clouds

that were riffed

and quiet like white bracelets.

–by Colleen Thibaudeau

Same

Everyone goes against each other

honor thy father, love thy mother

raging wars are all the same

to the girl who sits alone

in the dark with no name

hearts filling up with hope and despair

making you so crazy you pull out your hair

looking for loved ones

finding they’re not there

forever gone and lost to you

feeling sad and blue

your pain is all the same

to the girl who lives alone

in the dark with no name

dying in the fields of war

is only another score

to a leader who relaxes

while the country rots to the core

revenge is all the same

to the girl who cries

alone

in the dark

with no name